Week 10 of 12: Not Looking Good…

Stressed Out
20 May

Last Updated on May 20, 2024 by Michael Brockbank

It’s no secret that I’ve had the hardest time getting my head in the game this time around. I keep having moments of feeling awesome followed by being hyper-stressed and sluggish. It’s like being on a vicious, non-stop roller coaster with no end in sight.

But, I’m still working to keep my head above water…mostly because I don’t have much of a choice.

What other option is there, throw in the towel and gain that 80 pounds back? Not an option. No, there is an answer to my issues. I just need to find it.

Being Overly Stressed Is Not Good

It’s relatively easy for your body to lose weight. It’s the mental aspect that makes it difficult. Your body knows what it needs to do if you give it a chance to do it. Although it’s true that physical habits are tough to break, the body will still adapt. That’s one of the wonders of being human.

But when you can’t get your head in the game, you make poor decisions or have a hard time giving a shit. That leads to stalling out or outright giving up. Losing weight and keeping it off centers around your mentality. If it’s negative all the time, a negative experience is all you’re going to have.

That’s where I am, at the moment. And perhaps the most frustrating part of all is that I know how to right myself across the board. I’m just finding it difficult to keep up the motivation.

I used to laugh at the idea of motivational speakers. However, I can see the difficulty of their jobs today. It’s exceptionally hard to remain positive when everyone around you is negative. It’s easy to get sucked into the mindset of “why bother to care if no one else does?”

It often feels like repeatedly smashing your head against a brick wall. Unfortunately, because of the position I am currently in, I have no choice but to push forward. So, hopefully, this brick will eventually crumble and I’ll be able to relax a bit.

Yes, I’ve carved out a nice little slice of hell for myself.

Why Not Just Start the Challenge Over?

I was thinking about starting the fitness challenge over this morning and why I’m not going to. It has a lot to do with the fact that nothing is really going to change if I start over. Unless I can approach it with the same gusto I had 80 pounds ago, I’m just going to be in the same predicament of not giving a shit.

Sure, I can fall back on the excuse is that my failings are due to high levels of stress and my surroundings. But in reality, I’m the one who often slows down my progress whether it’s for losing weight or building blogs and YouTube channels.

Without being able to figure out my mental hangups and move past them, starting over today would be moot. I know me all too well, and I know I wouldn’t be able to sustain my diet plan for longer than three or four days before I start getting stabby again.

What Are the Goals This Week, Then?

With two weeks left, do you think I’ll be able to accomplish anything meaningful for this fitness challenge? I suppose not giving up is an accomplishment of its own. I just wish I had a few more victories to share.

So, we’re going to focus more on goals that may help me get back into a good frame of mind. I am planning to try yet another 12-week fitness challenge after this one. I would love to have a solid three months’ worth of data I could use for blog posts or videos.


Getting More Sleep

I’ve been working on getting to bed at a reasonable time, and it seems to be helping with my stress. At least on the weekdays, anyway. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to take my “memory” foam mattress off my bed. I completely forgot that it wasn’t a topper and is actually a queen-sized mattress.

So, I suppose that’s not going to be fixable anytime in the near future.

Nonetheless, I am enjoying going to bed at 9:30 pm or sooner and am going to work on turning that into a habit. I need to keep in mind that there is nothing that is going on that late that I can’t watch or play the next day.

I’m not six.

Focusing On My Work

One of the things that stress me out is the fact that I am so far behind on everything. From videos to blogs, I just don’t feel like I am as productive as I could be. That’s Probably because I waste so much time wallowing in frustration.

Well, this is easy to fix. Do my damn work!

I get too hung up on thinking content is too poor for YouTube, Google, or my audience. It’s a pain in the ass to deal with constantly changing algorithms and AI rollouts that appear to hinder your progress.

In reality, I’m not going to build anything if I don’t publish the content. You have no idea how many articles I trash in the day because I doubt Google would think it was “helpful” enough. Not to mention that the AI search pretty much strangles smaller websites from ever being seen.

So, I need to keep in mind that I am creating content for my audience first. I know this, but it’s difficult to fix that mindset after having to work on SEO for the past decade.

Walking More Often

I find that I am in a far better headspace if I am active enough to rack up at least 10,000 steps. This is a combination of walking, playing games, or simply cleaning the house. If I sit at my desk doing nothing all day long, I feel like utter garbage – both physically and mentally.

I have a few ideas to try this week, such as not jumping into my bathroom four or five times a week as my “sanctuary.” It’s a long story, but essentially, my personal bathroom is the only place where I can get a moment of peace in my house.

Anyway, walking is far more relaxing and helps me burn quite a few calories. It was the driving force behind hitting 213 pounds back in 2020. I need to spend more time outside…working in the garden, walking around the lake, biking…anything!

Identify Stress Makers And Eliminate Them

I am going to make another list of the primary stress points and list out several ways to overcome them this week. A lot of them are similar to the list I made a few weeks ago, I just need to commit to the fixes.

In fact, I think I am going to move my paintings in my office to make room for the whiteboard and start listing them. That way, they’ll be in front of me and in bright colors to keep my attention.

Nice…I’m treating myself like a puppy who needs to be potty trained.

The bottom line is that I need to do something to right myself before starting the next fitness challenge. I don’t want to get sucked into the same issues. Let’s hope that a few weeks is long enough to at least get the ball of positivity rolling.

Gonna Try to Keep It Green for Two Weeks

I am virtually positive that I’m not going to hit my goal weight in two weeks. So, that means that there is no summer of “hotness” for me. Well, at least not until mid-July. But right now, I am more concerned with my mental state. There are a lot of similarities happening that caused my crash in 2016.

Remember, mental fitness is just as important as physical fitness. In reality, I would wager that it’s more important overall. Without mental fitness, everything else is just far more difficult to achieve.

Let’s hope that next week, I have something positive to share for a change. Even if it’s just getting to bed at a reasonable time every night, let’s hope for a victory.

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