Week 6 of 12: Still Spinning the Tires in the Mud

Spinning in the Mud
22 Apr

Last Updated on April 22, 2024 by Michael Brockbank

Well, so far, I haven’t made any headway in trying to get myself kickstarted for this latest challenge. However, I think I made some progress from a mental perspective. At least, more than I have in the past.

I spent a great deal of time with myself over the weekend to work on why I can’t seem to get any momentum going. I’m not just talking about the “losing weight” front, either. I’m also having trouble getting my writing career back on track.

From the perspective of everything I am trying to do, it feels like I’m just spinning my tires without gaining traction.

Nonetheless, I feel that my efforts in spending time with myself, especially on Sunday, have started moving me in the right direction. I know, I’ve said similar things before. But this time was a bit different than the last few attempts.

This time, I actually put a lot of thought and effort into objectively finding my faults.

How I Gained 0.8 Pounds This Week

Perhaps the biggest contributor to why I gained 0.8 pounds this week is that my Give-a-Shit is still broken. Well, at least to the point where it doesn’t work all the time. I start off the week great, in high spirits, and ready to take on the challenge. But then I pitter out by Wednesday.

Then, I start to spiral as I feel frustrated with myself for not “sticking to the plan.” And once you gun the engine to the point where the tires dig even deeper into the mud, it gets almost virtually impossible to idle out without a winch.

So, why am I this way? Why do I have such an easy time getting started but then fade as the days continue? After having a conversation with myself while meditating, I think I found a few answers that have been stuck in my subconscious for quite some time.

What I Did That Helped Me Process a Few Things

First, I set my mindset to view myself objectively. This is not the easiest thing to do for most people, as emotion can play a huge role in how you perceive yourself. Objective thinking requires that you approach your situation from a strictly analytical frame of mind. You have to set aside negative and positive emotions and view the situation with actual facts and not feelings.

Anyway, I sat down and listed my four biggest failings of the week. Why do I stop writing, creating videos, or caring about weight loss?

Then, I listed three possible realistic solutions to each of those four “failings.”

For example, one of my biggest hangups recently has been the fact that I feel like a fraud about 80% of the time. That’s because I just can’t seem to get the ball rolling as I did when I was in my prime. I feel like I’m letting a lot of people down.

So, what possible solutions did I think of while sitting on the bathroom floor?

  • Practice what I preach more often.
    If I did what I say and know I can do, I would be much further along in everything.
  • Start putting in maximum effort!
    Breaking some bad habits could go a long way to reaching my goals. This includes getting sidetracked by others as well as myself.
  • Stick to my damn goals
    This kind of goes along with putting in the effort. If I stuck to my plans throughout the day, I would be virtually unstoppable in everything.

Sounds simple enough, right? But it’s more difficult to break time-sucking habits, especially if they make you feel more comfortable overall. Unfortunately, nothing is going to improve until you get rid of the things that are holding you back.

My point is that I actually sat down with a notebook and thought about the things that held me back throughout the day. Now, I have a constant, hand-written reminder next to me within eye-shot to help spearhead some of that motivation to succeed.

Will this work for everyone? I don’t know. Will it work for me? I’m crossing my fingers. But either way, I need to find that spark that once ignited a raging inferno back in the day.

What’s the Plan for Week 7?

So, we are at the halfway point of this latest fitness challenge and I have actually gone backwards. I’ve gained slightly over two pounds since this started, which is nowhere near where I wanted to be by now.

I suppose I can tell myself that I “just didn’t want it bad enough to do anything about it.” Let’s see if I can kick it into gear for the remaining six weeks.

Keep the Calories Green

This is the cornerstone of my weight loss strategy. By keeping the calories green in MyFitnessPal, I know I can shed weight relatively quickly. And when it comes to recording food, I usually do a pretty good job…that is when I give a shit.

For week seven, I’m merely going to focus on keeping the calories green so I can prove to myself that I can still do it – that I still have what it takes to see it through. Everything else that centers around working out and exercise will just be the elements that keep those numbers positive.

The hope is that this week will be all about building momentum. Then, I can start aiming for greater accomplishments. Then again, keeping the calories green all week is going to be massive in its own right.

Stick to My Daily Schedule

One of my biggest issues as of late is being able to stick to my planned routine. Although a lot of it is out of my control, there are still quite a few aspects that are. For example, no one is forcing me to watch that extra video on YouTube, which winds up turning a 30-minute lunch into an hour.

The more capable I am of sticking to my schedule, the more likely I’ll have time to play the Oculus or Kinect at 3:00 pm, which hasn’t been very consistent in this latest fitness challenge. See, my work and fitness lifestyles are deeply intertwined. As I have a lot on my plate, I need to manage it all seamlessly.

Sometimes that’ll mean that certain types of content don’t get finished, and I have to be OK with that. But if I stick to the blocks of time I have in Asana, at least I’ll be moving in the right direction.

Continue Working on Telling Others “No”

Another one of my shortcomings is the ability to tell people, “no.” This happens a lot when one of my older sons visits on Wednesdays as he offers to buy Taco Bell or somesuch. Well, I don’t usually have the calories available to have such a filling meal.

For instance, the meal I normally get is around 890 calories. That’s about twice what I normally have for any given lunch or dinner combined.

Or, perhaps someone wants to know if I want to go shopping in the middle of my “workday.” What winds up happening is that I chew up two hours of my time, which sets me back to the point where I don’t have time to exercise because I need to get work done.

It all comes down to willpower – something I seriously need to develop.

Work On Taking Control of Where I Want to Be

Lastly, I need to decide where it is I want to be and how badly I want to get there. None of the things I want to accomplish are going to mysteriously manifest themselves out of thin air. It takes effort, and I need to find that part of me that drives maximum potential.

When I started my weight loss journey in 2014, I lost quite a bit of weight in a relatively short amount of time. Sure, being larger vastly increases calorie burn and fat loss. But I also put in far more effort than I do today, and that’s something I want to fix.

I truly am tired of just doing the bare minimum to survive while not having the available funds to buy a new tire instead of filling one that has a slow leak thanks to a nail or not fitting into a size 32 as comfortably as I’d like.

Hitting the Halfway Mark

A lot of things get harder with age, but I refuse to let that be an excuse. Sure, I have more aches, pains, cracks, pops, and crunches than I used to. But that just means I need to adapt and keep it moving forward.

As I’ve said multiple times in the past, your mental health is the beginning of anything successful. This includes losing weight or writing a book. If you’re not in the right headspace, it’ll be far more difficult to succeed.

I am quite positive that my discussion with myself over the weekend will help get me back into that right frame of mind. I just need to realize that I need that constant reminder to keep walking the path.

Even if I have to cover my monitor with sticky notes.

It’s time to pull out the boards, shove ’em under the tires, and idle out of this mud pit.

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