Weeks 7 & 8 of 12: Fighting to Keep Myself Afloat

Keeping it Afloat
06 May

Last Updated on May 6, 2024 by Michael Brockbank

The past couple of weeks have been exceptionally difficult. I thought I had things zeroed-in but was grossly mistaken. Now, I’m on the fence about starting over and putting in maximum effort.

Although my life is usually rife with various bits of chaos, the underlying problem is me. I’m still having issues with trying to maintain myself throughout any given week. I start off strong on Mondays and then melt relatively quickly.

So, what can I do to keep my head in the game? If I knew that, I’d be at my goal weight by now.

Not Gaining Any Ground

I guess I can be thankful that I keep bouncing around the 235-pound mark. Meaning, I haven’t really gained anything back despite having such a rough mental go of things as of late. And I’m not sure as to what is holding me back.

I thought that I had a good idea and plan of action a couple of weeks ago, but that fell through quite quickly. I’m still easily sidetracked and have a tenancy to activate my “fuck it” mindset.

Again, today being Monday, I am very motivated to make it all happen. Though, I’m always more motivated on Mondays across the board. I’m probably one of the few people who look at Mondays as a way to set the pace for the week and marvel over what I can accomplish.

So, why can’t I keep that same mentality throughout the rest of the week? I don’t know – and it’s starting to frustrate the hell out of me.

I am relatively confident that a lot of it has to do with being in a constant state of stress. Mix in a lack of sleep on a regular basis, and it makes for a very difficult time to focus on anything.

Nonetheless, I’ll keep trying to gain some composure. I know, deep down, what I am truly capable of handling. I just need to find a way to handle it. Having my life constantly turned upside down doesn’t help.

For instance, I spent over a thousand dollars recently trying to get the plumbing fixed. Now, I’m back to square one with Mastercard and Visa. At least we can flush the toilet and take a shower now. We went four days waiting for a freakin’ plumber to show up.

Deciding Not to Start Over

Although I would love to start over and put in maximum effort from the jump, I am going to see what I can do for the remaining four weeks of this damn challenge. I would love to see if I can challenge myself to avoid being sidetracked.

Besides, if I can maintain the last four weeks, it’ll still give me a decent amount of data for writing a few blog posts. This week, I’m even adding in some protein days on Tuesday and Thursday to see what kind of an impact that’ll have on me.

So, I won’t be starting over. I won’t be the sex symbol I was aiming for by the end of the challenge, but I should be hitting around the 220-pound mark. At which time I will compare a couple of pictures. I am curious to see what kind of a difference 220 pounds make between pure cardio workouts (2018?) and going to the gym to mix in some weight training.

Afterward, I would love to do a few mini-fitness challenges to celebrate my birthday in July. But I guess we’ll have to see where I am mentally. There is so much going on that I’m constantly dialed to 11…which isn’t good from the standpoint of physical health.

Isn’t that part of what caused my heart to stop in 2016? Why yes, thank you for asking.

Goals for Week 9

Ok, we have four full weeks of this challenge to go. I have a few ideas for getting me through it with full green bars across the board. The trick is to stay motivated for longer than a single day.

Keeping it Green – As Always

The cornerstone of my fitness challenges is to adhere to my Net 600 Calorie Diet. I know it works exceptionally well for me, as long as I commit. And that’s been the crux of a lot of things lately – my lack of commitment.

And I’m not just talking about health and fitness, either. I haven’t been doing a lot of things that were once enjoyable – such as blogging and writing more often.

Overall, it’s a matter of willpower. Can I avoid having late-night sweets? When someone asks if I want Taco Bell, can I say no? Can I physically “pay” for a donut should someone bring me back VooDoo from the airport?

I used to be very good at all of this. But I find that it’s getting more difficult the older I get. Maybe it has less to do with age and more to do with the fact that I haven’t slept well in years, and that’s not an exaggeration.

Getting less than six hours per night wears you down after a while.

Forcing Myself to Bed on Time

I keep saying that I need to get to bed at a reasonable time, but I am still ignoring my 8:45 pm alarm. The plan is to wind down with a book and some Sleepytime Tea. From what I can remember, the few times I actually did so made a vast improvement on the next day.

It doesn’t help that my bed is exceptionally uncomfortable. So, why don’t I buy a new bed? Because I keep having to put money towards massive plumbing issues, cars, kids, and bills.

Plus, I’m trying to save up for a short vacation to Utah in June and Las Vegas in July.

Anyway, I would say that I am 95% positive that the vast majority of my problems lately have been from a lack of sleep, which amplifies the stress. Let’s see if I can get to bed on time Monday through Thursday and see how the week progresses both physically and professionally.

No Dining Out No Matter What!

Even if I have enough calories available to afford eating out, I need to focus more on the healthier options I have in the house. I have a freezer full of goodies, including a lot of the meals I love from Trader Joe’s.

Part of it is laziness and the other part is the lack of willpower I mentioned earlier.

This one is probably going to be one of the more difficult to stick to. Sometimes, it feels as though everyone around me is purposely trying to derail my fitness efforts. I know they’re really not trying to, but some days, it feels that way.

In any case, let’s not have food outside of the home for the next week. Actually, I’m aiming for the rest of the challenge, but I’m also being realistic with myself. Until I can get a handle on my mental state, I don’t want to get my hopes up.

The Gym at 6 AM?

It’s too late for today, but I want to see about going to the gym at 6 am again. Since I have my van back, I don’t really have to stress about getting a vehicle back so someone else can get to work. Besides, going to the gym at 6 am might help with my plans for going live with writing sprints Monday through Friday.

It’s not like I have a gym crush or anything who shows up at 10:30 am. It was just a logical time to go before everyone had working vehicles.

I also need to start reeling it back a bit. The last few times I’ve gone to the gym, I’ve burnt myself out to the point of being lethargic and exhausted all day long. It’s an ongoing problem I have – pushing myself too hard because I can.

Still, the primary goal is to hit the gym on Wednesday and Friday at 6 am and see if it’s something I can maintain. It would be hella convenient for the rest of my day if I could.

Let’s See What I Can Lose in 4 Weeks

So, we’ve established I’m not starting over and I’m going to go all in for these last four weeks. The trick is to figure out how to manage the stress and sleep more often. That’s the real challenge.

I would love to end this latest challenge with a solid block of green spanning across 28 days. It’s in my power to do so, I just need to do it.

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